What makes young men turn into grumpy old men?

Answered by on Manas J Saloi on Quora

Every man’s life starts the same.

Childhood  The most amazing care free time of your life where dreams are still within reach and the opportunities endless. You get angry or sad and you have your parents rush out to buy you gifts. You feel hungry and your mom rushes to cook your food. You say you want to become a Pilot when you grow up and your dad says ‘ Yes. You will’.

Slowly you reach your teens where slowly and slowly your life take a turn for better or worse. Being the confused soul you are you try to follow the path everyone is taking. You take Science up because instead of a risky career option it is considered to be a smart and safe choice. You join high school.

High School  You try to be as cool as the other kids. You do booze. You smoke. You party but study too. Till here your path is pretty much defined. Your goals are set. If get this much marks in a subject, you get this. Your rewards, risks, punishments are also pretty much straight forward. You probably regret not talking to the cool and pretty girl you had a major crush on but you still enjoy life and move on. You do not probably study as much as you should  but it is OK.

College  Repeat High school but with higher risks and rewards scenario. If you do good , you end up with a good job. You screw up and you are fucked. Soon you are about to pass out of college but still unsure about everything.

Job  You take the high paying job you do not enjoy. You have no one to guide you or slap your wrists when you make a mistake. Its a journey into the unknown from now on. You have less time for everything. Your family takes a back step and so does your friends. You do not meet them like you did earlier. You slog away. You look forward to your paycheck and nothing more. You get bored. But it is OK as you need the money to send back home and probably marry off your sisters. You feel a bit of envy watching your friends who probably have more exciting jobs or life. Slowly you become cynical. Before you can do anything you suddenly feel so much secure and comfortable in your dead end job that you lose the ability to take risks or make a change.

Family  You get married soon to the match your parents found out. You do not love her. But you want companionship to fight your loneliness. Soon everything is about your wife and two kids now. You come back from work tired and go to sleep. Even the weekends are reserved for phone calls and meetings. You go to the same place  every day where you have for gone for the last 10 years. The cubicle has become big. The pay checks bigger. But it is not about you any more. You have turned into a grumpy middle aged man approaching old age and have/ do not have a mid life crisis. You buy some expensive car. Buy a new flat. But you still do not feel satisfied. You turn to Nirmal Baba and he gives you advice, Still nothing.

Slowly you regret

– Not falling in love in school. Never holding hands with the girl you fancied so much.

– Never taking those Guitar lessons when you had the chance.

– Never doing something crazy. Never travelling abroad.

– Working too much. Doing overtime in a job which you now realize neither made you happy or satisfied.

– Never telling your dad how much  you loved him before he died.

– Not making enough friends. Not going out more.

– Not telling others how you felt. Pleasing those who did not matter.

– Impressing those who are no longer in your life.

– Never taking up a hobby.

– Living an average life.

–  Not having the courage to live truthfully. Or live a life you would have enjoyed instead of a one which paid more and made you sick.

You are left with regrets. Lots of them and it is perhaps too late to do anything. So you turn grumpy.

So ask yourself what will matter to you the most when you are his age ?

Make some changes.

Ask yourself :

and one last thing
age is important only if you're cheese

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